As many of you know - my biggest challenge in this all was the fear in telling my babies. We called a family meeting - Sierra was sitting on my lap and Bri was on Jeff's lap - there we were as a family - about to talk about something you can never prepare yourself for.
I started off by referring to the questions Sierra had been asking - "Mom, why are people asking how you are doing, and that they are praying for you". She immediatly covered her ears and said, I am not sure I want to talk about his. I paused and then I explained to them that mommy had been having doctors appointments, and that after several tests they had found cancer.
Then there was silence - then came the emotion. I continued to explain when surgery was going to take place and what the process would be. Both girls really just sat there. I am sure they felt as I did when I first hear the news - you are in shock and really do not know what to say.
I told them that we wanted to be strong as a family and that we wanted to answer any questions they had. Brianna (6years old) said "mommy, how did it get there". Then she said "I had creative center today, and I did not know you had cancer or I would have made you a picture". The innocence of a child.
Sierra (10 years old) was emotional - as I expected. She tried to hold back the tears until she could not anymore - I too started to cry. She grabbed my face and said, "But mommy I love you, I do not want you to die. Please tell God not to let you die". My heart was literally breaking. I reassured her that mommy was not going to die...but I can not take that fear away from her. I look over at Jeff, and I see tears rolling down his face. You can see he was trying to be strong for us all. Bri came and climbed on my lap and Jeff came and held us - there we were... Sierra wanted to know more, so Jeff explained to her the weeks of doctors appointments and how they are confident that this will be the fix. Jeff also took the opportunity to read to them the verses 1 Peter 1: 6-8 - She was reassured. We spent the next hour just being there together in the quite (with Sadey our dog).
It was amazing to have the opportunity to talk to my girls. I explained that it is easy to be happy and have faith when things are going good. But it is in the trials that we must trust even more. Brianna said - "And God will take care of us" - YES!
Peace is not just the absence of problems, but it is knowing what to do when they come into your life. It is knowing that in every situation and every area of our lives, God is in control. "Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Rom. 5:3-4).
This blog was deisgned in order to keep my family and friends informed. I am so blessed to have an abundance of support across the country - so thank you all.
